Let me back up a little bit of all that had happened…in short of course. Well in 2008 my ISSUES took a wild spin downhill, especially after I had my gallbladder removed. Thereafter, I had crazy signs, but mostly symptoms, appear. As the years started to roll by, more and more popped up.
Anyways, time and time again I was told that nothing was wrong. For two years I had all these tests, mostly cbc's, bmp's, cmp's, and thyroid levels done by my request, because I was just so sure! Nothing. I was told to go see a psych over and over again, and as many of you know as the story goes, I did. Trying one medication to the next, I got nothing.
As of last year I had put myself in a psych ward. I was just so depressed, among other things. BUT!, when I got out of the hospital, I decided that I was no longer going to go see doctors and try to find out what my mysterious issue was. I decided to hand it over all to God and awesomely I actually got better in some ways. I looked at the good stuff, thought positively, and became active in church, started walking and running and eating better.
Oddly enough however, in 2010 I thought the mystery was solved when my thyroid panels came back abnormal and then when I asked for antibodies to be tested, those came back abnormal too. However, I came to find out as of this year I was put on the WRONG med and was given the WRONG diagnosis. At that time I was put on PTU and it did absolutely nothing but make me more sick to the point where I ran to the ER freezing, chest pains, nausea, low blood pressure, body temp of 96.0F, panic attack or whatever you want to call it, in severe pain, etc. etc. Anyways, even though I had no idea what was going on, the endo I was seeing took me off of the med since she saw it was not working for my case and prescribed vitamin D, since that was low after all.
Pressing forward to 2013, this year, I had decided I'd like a little help with gaining weight. Of course, I wound up teaching the dietician some new material and she humbly told me there was nothing that she could advise me on, that I knew more than her and covered what she would have gone over me with, and decided to only charge me half price for the visit.
God at work here, she wrote down a couple of names of doctors for me to see. One of the doctors was for a gastroenterologist that saw most of the celiac patients she saw. For those who don't know, I was inaccurately diagnosed with celiac disease this year. I had a negative biopsy in 2009 and when I went to see this new gastroenterologist, he did blood work and stool labs for celiac and many other things that could be going wrong with me, but they were all negative. Now, that doesn't mean there's still not a possibility that I could have it, but in either case, they were negative.
God at work here again, Last week I had an update with him to see how I was doing on a standard American diet again. I had gone gluten free in February - July, which I did quite well but had issues with calories some. Anyways, I brought my old labs with me and just chatted with him. He went through them and right away he called the endrocrinologist across the hallway to set me up an appointment. My gastro told me he was talking to the endo that day and the endo told him that two people had called and cancelled there appointments. I guess the endo and gastro are friends, and to be quite honest…they rock my socks. Anywho, the gastro set an appointment up for me at that very instance with the endo.
So, God at work here again, I went straight over, old labs were reviewed and within 30-60 minutes I got my diagnosis of Hashimoto's disease. Wow, I was right all these years with my first guess. Thyroid issues, but it's due to my immune system being retarded and attacking my thyroid.
Now I'm finally on a med, which I started this Saturday, and I am no longer mental/psychotic, can think straight, don't hurt all over all the time, am not weak and very fatigued, no longer sleepy, I could name more symptoms I don't have now, some symptoms I still have, but I'll just leave it at that. You get the picture. A total body train wreck.
So finally, but unfortunately, that's what I have and since I have one autoimmune disease, it raises my chances of getting other autoimmune diseases, especially hashimoto's encephalophathy, diabetes 1.5, celiac disease, addison's disease, and bilary cirrhosis. And one thing's for sure, they all work best on the same diet, gluten free preferably, as well as anything else that makes you sick as a dog and puts you in a flare up.
Anyways, in the end though, I'd like to thank the few people that actually continued to talk to me all these years and put up with me being cray cray, and I'm sorry to anyone who I hurt some how or in some way. I really was going loca en la cabeza and I really couldn't help it as much as I tried, and I really did and that's one of the many reasons why I got depression was just…well everything. Not being physically stable, mentally stable, feeling like no one would listen to me, feeling like I was lazy, or a liar, or that I wasn't trying hard enough, or that everything I was experiencing was in my head, not knowing what was going on. It's pretty scary when you start to loose control of who you are, physically and mentally.
This thyroid med I'm on hasn't fixed everything, but I'm very happy to say that at least I got my sanity back, that I have a sound mind. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to just die or thought I was dying, or that perhaps I should just file for disability, and sometimes I still do think about whether or not I should file for disability, but there's no negative depressive feelings driving that thought anymore. It's just me questioning my ability to being able to do anything much anymore, but I'm not a person to give up and give in. I still want to try. What I have, which I cannot say it's worst than others with different diseases or conditions, but it's so debilitating and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
And last but not least, when it comes to art I still want to do it but I can just never find the time to do so right now. I come home from work at 12:30am and go directly to my house and start working on that, unless something else is up or I'm just so so tired. I'm just taking one thing at a time these days. I can't multitask anymore. I don't have the time or energy. Maybe in a year's time I'll be back, but finishing our house and taking care of myself is more important.